Let’s call it anxiety actually. Because these fears are based on what may happen in the future because of a particular situation. And the situations are so normal, it’s funny how paranoid they get us. We all might have some fears in that sense, and I can’t list all of them because it would mean getting killed trying to explain something. But here are the seven general fears that ruin my life and maybe are ruining yours as well. Pretty much.
How it Ruins my Life: When my phone rings late in the night I make it a point to assume that someone has died. Then I begin thinking about how to go there and what to say. All this before taking the call.
How it’s Insane: It’s insane because most of the people who would call me on someone’s death are the close people and close people also know when can I be available and free to talk. Late in the night.
How it ruins my life: Erectile dysfunction because I wonder if I would be able to do it good enough for the woman. So I think they might as well put this experience in the list of funny stories and forget me altogether.
Why is it insane: Because if I have gotten some total stranger right up to the bedroom, it pretty much means they like something about me and so the ding dong shouldn’t be worried.
Why it ruins my life: Because you know, its my collection of idiotic, funny songs which I find cool and I am not exactly Phoebe Buffay so I won’t want to show my talent around and be laughed at.
Why is it insane: Because anyone who is interested so much in looking at your collection HAS to be a close friend. And if it’s a close friend doing that, it shouldn’t be that embarrassing because they know more terrible stuff than that.
Why it ruins my life: Because who wants to be the first person at a party bruh? I feel awkward because the host has to talk to me and there’s nothing much to talk really and then it gets all “errr…emmm.,, juice?”
Why is it insane: Because someone has to be the first at a party and it won’t really hurt if that person has to be me. Perhaps I could just take my girlfriend along and have a good time?
Why it ruins my life: Because I can’t deal with an actual person. I am too much of the internet guy and I cannot talk to someone to get information about a service or to ask for a replacement. So it scares me and I cannot speak clearly.
Why is it insane: Because no one is going to eat me up for God’s sake. Even if I ask stupid questions they will answer me because I am the darn customer.
Why it ruins my life: Because whenever my mom calls me I take it for granted that I have done something wrong and it has been caught. All the terrible things I ever did flash in a moment.
Why is it insane: Because most of the times she is just calling me to ask how am I doing, which is always “not so bad.”
Why is it ruining my life: Because? Weed. Is it in my pocket? Why is it insane: Because dude I don’t look like a peddlar or something? Or do I? Goddamn this is scary af.